Rediscovering Silence: Lessons from Losing My Voice
I recently lost my voice.
It was part of having a cold, along with a sore throat, persistent cough, drippy nose, headache, exhaustion, and other “cold symptoms.” After a brief semi-hysterical two days when I thought I may have caught COVID, I was reassured by the single pink line, that it was “only” a nasty head cold — “There’s so much going around” said everyone I know. Upper respiratory infections, head colds, flu, and a number of new and not so new strands of COVID. So, I was grateful — VERY GRATEFUL.
What I did not expect was to be without a voice for so long. No “nature walk talks”, no patient calls, no phone chats with family, friends, or colleagues, no singing. Always looking for the silver lining, I figured this would be an opportunity for a SILENT RETREAT. But those usually involve long nature walks, gentle movements, sitting meditations, and opportunities for reflective writing, but because I could hardly keep my head up in between coughing fits, that was not going to happen. What did happen, though, was an opportunity to be quiet and heal. Fortunately, I was in a place where I could sit outdoors and although I was bundled up, I was in fresh air (always a healer for me). And, because I could do little else, and I was awake most of the night, I was going in and out of sleep. Although I talk about it a lot, and guide others through the process, I recognize how important it is to not only slow down but to stop. When we are not able to do it in the day to day, our bodies let us know that it is time…and that is exactly what my body did.
The most recent time I lost my voice was four months ago, just a few days prior to leaving for a conference in Arizona where I was to present. I not only lost my voice but when a little bit came back I was terribly hoarse. My doctor suggested a visit with a fantastic ENT who suggested I work with his colleague, a voice therapist. This intrigued me as I have a background in working with people with speech and hearing issues and wondered what might be a benefit for me. For the past 4 months, I have made great progress with learning how to protect my voice with a whole new world of knowledge about breathing, air production, directing my voice in different ways, and lots more. From blowing bubbles to visualizing my voice going “over the fence” I have felt as if I had a whole new lease on my voice’s life. I was one session shy of ending my work with my fabulous voice therapist when this happened. Needless to say I could not make it to my last (which is no longer my last) session. What I needed was rest, rest and more rest. And of course, slippery elm tea, manuka honey, homeopathic and ayurvedic treatments, all of which are lovely and soothing and I am still waiting for my voice to return.
So what to do? Think about NOT talking. Listen to people talk about everything. Notice how many people either do not listen or choose to interrupt before the other person finishes speaking. Listen to how helpful it can be to insert pauses in conversations. There are seldom pauses. The value of a good pause is to take in what was said and then digest it, perhaps ponder and then, if you have something to contribute, add a comment. Notice how so many people formulate their response before hearing what a person is saying. This happens so much between parents and children. When the ability to speak is “on hiatus,” noticing whether what you want to say is “value added” or just filler, can be a good determinant of what we say if we choose to say anything at all. So, the question is, how do you want to use your voice?
Guarding Our Time: Navigating Our Schedules with Grace and Intention
Most of us live in a world where to-do lists seem ever-expanding and our calendars fill up with commitments, at the expense of personal time to focus on our inner being and purpose. Protecting our time is a necessity, and often can become art form.
Here are a few heartfelt tips to consider:
Prioritize Mindfully. As we face our day, we can take a moment to discern which tasks are truly essential. We can ask ourselves what aligns with our values and goals. It is not unusual to realize, upon closer inspection, that what seems urgent may not be as important as it appears.
Learn to Say No. Saying no is not just a boundary-setting exercise; it’s an act of self-respect. When we say yes to something that doesn’t serve our inner purpose, we are saying no to something that might.
Choose Quality Over Quantity. It seems that we often equate busyness with success. Think about that and try focusing on the quality of our actions rather than the quantity. It’s about doing fewer things with more meaning.
Scheduled Downtime. Just as we schedule meeting and errands, we can also pencil in time for ourselves. It can be a quiet cup of tea, a walk in nature, or simply sitting with our thoughts. It’s vital to give ourselves some space and solitude.
Reflect Daily. We can do this anytime, but evening time may be a good time to acknowledge what we accomplished that day and let go of what we didn’t. The idea is to bring clarity and a sense of calm to aid us in focusing on what truly matters in our lives.
Note What We Accomplished or an Insight Gained. As part of our daily reflection, we can take a quiet moment to consider our achievements and insights. It doesn’t have to be monumental; it could be as simple as a task we completed, or a lesson learned. We can record these, either mentally or in a journal, and reinforce a sense of progress and growth.
Time is our most-precious resource. Protecting it isn’t just about efficiency; it’s about nurturing our well-being and staying true to what brings us joy and fulfillment. Commit to structuring unstructured time and reclaiming time for ourselves.
Seeking Beauty
Search for beautiful things. Take a moment each day to seek out beauty in the world around us. It can be a heartwarming and enriching habit. We can find joy in the little things — the delicate patterns in nature, the laugh lines around a loved one’s eyes, or soft glow of dusk. The simple act of appreciation deepens our gratitude for life’s wonders we often overlook.
Dr. Dale Atkins
dale@drdaleatkins.com
www.drdaleatkins.com
