Not Sharing Concerns with Loved Ones for Fear of Being Shut Out
I have received many inquiries from people in different stages of their lives who have one thing in common. Each is hesitant to share concerns with loved ones for fear of being shut out. They describe feeling as if they “walk on eggshells”. They are afraid of risking asking personal questions, sharing opinions or observations, or commenting about aspects of the other person’s life. Consequently, they live within a very narrow space of what is conversationally “acceptable.” Everyone, it seems, has a family member or friend with whom they felt close and no longer do.
This is not an easy situation. Being mindful of another’s private life and unwelcome areas for discussion is a sign both of caring and respect. Going deep into areas that may be difficult can feel like a benchmark of a close and caring relationship. It can also feel intrusive and meddlesome.
Before we “go there” we need to examine our own motive; ask ourselves: “What is the point of the conversation and why does it need to happen?” Particularly, if someone is reluctant to talk about something, we may just need to say that we are concerned but honor their apparent desire not to discuss whatever it is.
For some of us sharing information is a sign of closeness.
For others, it may or may not be.
Our way of looking at the world and defining the type of relationships we have is not only up to us.
People change.
What they are comfortable sharing changes as well.
We need to be able to move through the way relationships shift.
What we once had may not be what we now have.
We can accept where we are and what we have and make peace with it. If we cannot do that, we can stop banging at a door that will not open.
Refocusing In a Digitally Dominated World: Finding Balance With Social Media
In this era where digital connections often supersede physical ones, the influence of social media on our daily lives is undeniable. It shapes our perceptions, interactions, and often dictates our downtime. As we become increasingly aware of its pervasive impact on our focus and mental space, it’s important to step back and recalibrate our relationship with the various platforms. The question then becomes: “How do we regain control of our attention (and mood) in an age where our ‘feeds’ are an endless scroll of information and interaction?”
Initiating change begins with a conscious and honest audit of our social media consumption. It’s about critically assessing how we feel during and after each session of engaging on these platforms. Are we left feeling energized or drained (or both)? Do we feel connected or isolated (or both)? Distracted or fully immersed (or both)? By paying close attention to our emotional responses, we can start to identify patterns and triggers. With this awareness we can explore alternatives for more mindful and selective approaches to our digital activities.
Creating boundaries is the next crucial step. This could be setting strict limits on the amount of time we spend on social media daily. It could involve designating “tech-free zones or times” in our homes (during meals or before bedtime). These boundaries aren’t just about reducing screen time; they’re about creating spaces in our day for other enriching activities that feed our souls and minds, like relaxing our bodies with gentle stretches and breathing, reading a book, listening, or playing music, engaging in a hobby, writing in a journal, taking a walk, or simply being present in the moment.
Diversifying our sources of fulfillment and encounters is key. Social media, for all of its appeal, is just one avenue of connection and entertainment. There’s a whole world outside of the digital arena waiting to be explored. Making an effort to pursue activities and relationships outside of these platforms can provide a more holistic sense of satisfaction and fulfillment in our lives. Whether it’s joining a local club, taking up a new sport, or spending more time in nature (join me for my nature walk talks!), these activities provide a counterbalance to the digital pull. Accomplishing it takes time, intention, and commitment.
As we redefine our relationship with social media, we don’t have to demonize it. We can seek to use it in a way that adds real value to our lives. It’s about ensuring that our engagement with these platforms is intentional, positive, and balanced. By taking these steps, we can start to shift our focus back to ourselves and the tangible world around us, reclaiming our attention and enriching our everyday experiences.
Rehydrate Our Bodies First Thing in the Morning
Starting our day with a glass of water is more than just a refreshing ritual; it’s a good start for our daily health. We often hear about the importance of staying hydrated throughout the day, but that first glass in the morning can be particularly important. It kickstarts our digestion and can also sharpen our focus as we wake up every part of our body and mind. My grandmother, Mina, always squeezed fresh lemon juice into her glass of room temperature water. She reminded me, nearly ¾ of a century ago, of the benefits of the zesty flavor but also the value of the lemon’s vitamin C, which aids in skin, eye, and brain health, and overall wellness. Remember, a well-hydrated body is more equipped to take on the day’s challenges, so make that morning glass of lemon-water a daily habit.
Dr. Dale Atkins
dale@drdaleatkins.com
www.drdaleatkins.com
