Compassion in Everyday Moments: Choosing Understanding Over Judgment
“Here is what we seek: a compassion that can stand in awe at what the poor have to carry rather than stand in judgment at how they carry it.”
― Gregory Boyle, Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion
Waiting in line at a grocery store a man watched as a woman put her groceries into two groups as she placed them onto the cashier’s counter. “Please ring up the first group. We will see about the second group.” Carefully, one by one, the cashier added each item from the second group as the customer mentally subtracted the cost of each item from the amount of money in her hands. She removed items that for most people would be staples but for her were obviously luxuries. The man watched and wondered how he had been so fortunate that he did not have to do this. He was able to throw whatever he wanted into his shopping cart. He felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for himself and concern for the woman with her groceries. A person in line showed signs of impatience as she rolled her eyes. She looked for reassurance or a sense of camaraderie from the man. There was neither in his heart. He was already processing how challenging and likely embarrassing it was for this woman who was trying to figure out what she could afford.
In another scenario, late at night, a person ordered food from a waiter close to the end of the waiter’s shift. Clearly, the waiter was tired and ready to go home. But the kitchen was open for another 15 minutes, so he was obliged to fill the order. When he brought the food to the table, the order was all wrong. The customer could not eat what arrived. As the customer tried to explain that this was NOT his order and he could not eat it, the waiter admitted that he was tired, he was ready to go home, and apologized for getting it wrong. With that information, the customer had a choice regarding how he could respond. Yes, he did not get his food and yes, everyone gets tired (but we do our jobs anyway) and on and on. Or, he could have taken a broader view of the situation and feel compassion both for himself (for not getting his food) AND the waiter (who needed to go home to sleep). We do not need to know what this man’s burdens are; we just need to appreciate that he may have them.
Some of us have had more fortunate lives than others. And that is the only reason why we must always find space for gratitude and love. To quote His Holiness, the Dalai Lama: “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.”
How often do we judge a person for a behavior that we witness? For most of us, more than we know. What would happen if we stopped the judgement and, instead, responded with compassion? How would our response change if we saw the person we judge as a human being, carrying a burden that may, at the moment of our meeting, become too heavy? With a different response, we and they could be lifted rather than broken down.
We are all interconnected. We are not only part of one another we are involved in one another’s experience. When we accept that truth deeply, we can choose to live accordingly, kindly, leading with compassion.
Standing Together: Tips for Combating Anti-Semitism and Promoting Safety
In a world where fear, misunderstanding, and hatred leads to the spread of anti-Semitism, it’s crucial that Jewish people not only stand firm in their identity but also actively work towards creating an environment where everyone feels safe and respected. The alarming rise in anti-Semitic incidents reminds us of the importance of visibility, education, and allyship in combating hate. Whether it’s wearing symbols of Judaism with pride, attending religious or cultural activities that celebrate Jewish life, or engaging in conversations to dispel myths, tropes and lies, our actions can pave the way for a kinder, more inclusive society. We can declare and actively live as though “there is no place for hate.” Under no circumstance is it acceptable to tolerate anti-Semitism. Here are some steps we can take:
1. Speak Up and Report: Whenever you witness anti-Semitic actions or language, raise your voice against it. When someone is targeted, we all suffer. Hateful remarks and actions are to be condemned. Reporting such incidents to authorities and relevant organizations enables hate crimes and authorities to be documented effectively.
2. Build Bridges of Understanding: Initiate and participate in dialogues with individuals from different backgrounds. These conversations can be powerful tools in breaking down barriers and fostering mutual respect.
3. Promote Education: Advocate for comprehensive education in schools and community forums on Jewish history and the dangers of anti-Semitism. Knowledge is a key component in the fight against ignorance and prejudice. Superintendents, principals, teachers and parents must stand together to create a school culture where anti-Semitism is unacceptable.
4. Nurture Empathy and Support: Share stories of Jewish experiences and the impact of anti-Semitism. Creating spaces for these stories can encourage empathy and solidarity, reinforcing the idea that we’re all part of a larger human community.
By implementing these strategies, we not only defend against anti-Semitism but also contribute to a broader cause of promoting peace, understanding, and safety for everyone.
Anchoring Ourselves During Tough Moments
In those challenging moments throughout our days that test our patience and resilience, grounding ourselves becomes essential. We can start by pausing to take a deep breath, focusing entirely on the sensation of air filling our lungs and the calmness it brings as we exhale. This act of mindful breathing serves as a formidable tool to bring us back to the present, helping to ameliorate stress or frustration.
Next, we can reflect on what we need most in this moment — maybe it’s clarity, strength, or patience. This reflection to guide our actions, turning a potentially reactive moment into one of purposeful response. By adopting this practice, we can navigate difficult situations with a sense of calm and intention, reinforcing our ability to stay centered, no matter what unfolds.
Dr. Dale Atkins
dale@drdaleatkins.com
www.drdaleatkins.com
